So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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