soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
