Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
