Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
