so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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