Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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