Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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