I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
