Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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