Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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