whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
