I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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