he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
