Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
