I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
