im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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