Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
