This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
