I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
