Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
one might say we're banned from that church
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize