I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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