what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
