My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
