you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
