Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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