What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
