i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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