I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
