Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
