Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
