I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
