man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
