I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize