he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
