The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
