so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
