She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
