The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
