if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
