My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
