I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
