overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
