Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you didnt know i had herpes?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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