Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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