If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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