belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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