foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
