I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
