the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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