I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
