Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
