In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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