We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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