so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
