It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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