yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
