oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
