It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
