Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Come share oat with me in your robe
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
